B-MOVIE BINGO presents HARD TO KILL

B-Movie Bingo is bringing everybody's favorite ponytail to the big screen at the Hollywood Theatre this Tuesday.  Yup, before he played Steven Seagal: Lawman on television, Steven Seagal fully inhabited the role of Mason Storm in Bruce Malmuth's Hard to Kill, surely the 5th or 6th best film of all-time to include an action scene set beside a billiards table.

Just in case anyone needs to catch up with what exactly B-Movie Bingo constitutes, here's the skinny, straight from the horse's mouth:

B-MOVIE BINGO is a game that is exactly like it sounds — OR MORE. It’s simple–we play bingo to the most awesome movie cliches ever committed to celluloid, like: “LONG BORING SCENE OR MALE PONY TALE”, “TEAMED UP WITH ROOKIE OR ANIMAL”, and “WHITE SUIT OR TROPICAL ENDING”. For maybe the first time in a theater, see the relatives and employees of A-list actors you know and love like Sylvester Stallone, whose brother bears a remarkable resemblance to him. Compete for prizes! Yell at your fellow movie nerds over the elusive and mysterious “BLANK SQUARE”! Relax: it’s B-MOVIE BINGO.

Wanna know more about the film?  Here's the B-Movie Bingo synopsis:
You can take THIS to the bank! In HARD TO KILL Steven Seagal is Mason Storm (best movie hero name ever), an L.A. detective who spends the first twenty minutes of the movie in a seven year coma. (RIP Mason Storm’s coma, 1983-1990). 
When he wakes up from the coma, he has a huge goatee, which is a sure sign your nurse has the hots for you. Within seconds of becoming aware of his surroundings, he flashes back to the atrocities that befell his family at the hands of a dirty politician… while a hit man roams the halls hunting him down as he wheels around on his gurney. 
After a narrow escape, his nurse takes him to an Eastern-tinged country estate where he recuperates, enduring various training montages and meditation zones. Once he regains his strength and hones his lone wolf attitude, total violence ensues as he exacts revenge on those who wronged him. Then he goes on a vacation.

The B-Movie Bingo presentation of Hard to Kill happens on Tuesday, June 5th at the Hollywood Theatre.  More info available here.

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B-MOVIE BINGO presents MULLET MANIA aka JOHN WOO'S HARD TARGET @ the Hollywood Theatre

There was a time when the mere mention of John Woo's name could send action-heads and film geeks into convulsive states of nerdy bliss.  Mind you, we're talking sometime around 1992, 'round when Hard Boiled and The Killer temporarily cemented Woo's place in the pantheon of all-time great action directors.  Then came Hard Target, the first of several U.S. productions to bring those assessments down to a terrestrial level.

Which is not to say that Hard Target, Broken Arrow and, especially, Face/Off are without their pleasures...their sheer audacity, hammy acting and (more than healthy) commitment to scenarios that refute logic make the pictures worthy of embrace by those who don't mind a lil' cheese with their cinema.  And, remember, one person's trash is another person's treasure...

All of which leads us to point out the B-Movie Bingo screening of Hard Target (featuring magnificent© supporting performances to JCVD's mullet by both Wilford Brimley AND Lance Henriksen!!!) this week at the Hollywood Theatre.  For those unsure of what B-Movie Bingo is, the Hollywood's listing offers up this explanation:

B-MOVIE BINGO is a game that is exactly like it sounds — OR MORE. It’s simple–we play bingo to the most awesome movie cliches ever committed to celluloid, like: “LONG BORING SCENE OR MALE PONY TALE”, “TEAMED UP WITH ROOKIE OR ANIMAL”, and “WHITE SUIT OR TROPICAL ENDING”. For maybe the first time in a theater, see the relatives and employees of A-list actors you know and love like Sylvester Stallone, whose brother bears a remarkable resemblance to him. Compete for prizes! Yell at your fellow movie nerds over the elusive and mysterious “BLANK SQUARE”! Relax: it’s B-MOVIE BINGO.

So, yeah, it's bingo + a dubious but fun movie.  Sounds like a time.  Check out the trailer:

The B-Movie Bingo presentation of Hard Target goes down on Tuesday, April 3rd at the Hollywood Theatre.  More info available here.

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Subscribe to the blog's feed here.